I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
