Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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