I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
