O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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