i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize