every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
