I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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