Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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