the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
