just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
