dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?