So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.