just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too