Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.