My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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