last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Its about making memories worth repressing
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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