you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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