So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
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I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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