I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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