I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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