Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
