I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When are your genitals available?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
