I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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