If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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