make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
