Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
