so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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