you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
