Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
