So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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