Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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