Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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