margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
