yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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