did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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