Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
