The maid of honor just puked.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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