I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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