do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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