Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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