we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
