I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I want is dick and wine.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
