you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
