my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize