we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
