so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
