Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
