You can't motorboat a personality
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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