ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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