So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.