I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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