I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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