you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
