never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
