after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno