Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
