the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sext me about skeletons
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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