your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
