So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
smell my finger.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
