I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
