Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
