My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
