Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
