I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
