sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
