he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
