YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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