just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
